Vague Sense of Apprehension....

As I posted earlier, last time we went to yesterday's location (two years ago) there were soldiers waiting there for us when we arrived...toting M-16's that had to be at least four feet long! But, they did not follow us back to the hotel...just left themselves as soon as we loaded up our bus and started out. This year was different though...five heavily armed policemen met us in the hotel at 6:00 am yesterday morning. The explanation we were given is that since we were going to a heavily ganged controlled violent area, the government had assigned this unit to accompany us and "guard the drugs" for us. (That was before I found out that 16 Americans were killed by one of the gangs in that very spot just a few weeks ago by blowing their bus up.) Well, the police unit traveled with us to that area and made a perimeter around us all day and, to our surprise, followed us back to the hotel again and STAYED. We kept expecting them to leave, but they never did and they have stuck to us like glue ever since. They don't leave the hotel unless WE leave the hotel and we have been told that we are not to leave the hotel unless it is as the entire group on our planned events. They came with us to supper at Pizza Hut last night...escorting and guarding us like we were some important entourage. It was kind of fun, having them along because in order not to get separated from our bus, they always block the intersections (lights flashing, sirens on) as we make turns. Then they jump out of their vehicle lickety split when we arrive, rifles raised, eyes scanning up and down the street, before we step off the bus. They are always with us, forming a silent perimeter and ever watching. Last night I heard a rumor that one of the gangs has been targeting church groups. But, still I didn't feel any apprehension...until this evening. This morning we went to a very small, secluded area of tourist gift stalls in a very good part of town...of course our police escort was there, silently shadowing us, forming an unobtrusive perimeter around us. Well, while we were there, we ran into another church medical mission group that had come in our same flight Saturday night, but having been staying at a different place. One of them glanced nervously at all the heavily armed policemen and said to us, "We thought this was suppose to be a really SAFE area!" We assured them it WAS...that the policemen were only there because they had come with us. That is when it dawned on me that THEY are a church group on a medical mission trip with lots of drugs and THEY have not been assigned 24/7 police protection and the other church group from Alabama that arrived at our hotel yesterday have not been assigned any police protection. And the police obviously are NOT worried about "protecting our drugs" or they would have stayed behind at the hotel with our 700 pounds of medicines today instead of going to the beach with us. Not only are they guarding us (rather than the medicines) but they are guarding US, specifically....not all church medical mission groups, just ours. Which makes me wonder why. What do they know that they have not told us?

Our police unit will remain with us 24/7 the remainder of our stay in the country. Tonight, as we were leaving the hotel to go to supper, I saw twice as many rifled hotel guards posted than I have seen since arriving here. One of them was on a second floor balcony and he kept looking at our bus and then staring far down either side of the street. THAT is the moment when the first vague sense of apprehension started to wrap up in a knot in my stomach. ...Enough so, that I changed seats so that I was sitting in the seat nearest Darcy so I could shove her down if needed. Probably melodramatic on my part...after all, I AM the woman who was stalked by serial killer Pete in Alaska! And we all know how innocent THAT turned out to be. Still, I keep noticing things that, in my heightened paranoia take on omnious signficance. We went out to eat papoosa tonight. I was expecting us to end up at same place we went to for papoosa on the last medical mission trip....a large busy restaurant that is open-air...one full side of the building open to the street and right ON the street...so that everyone in the restaurant is in full view of passing cars. This time, we went to a small restaurant high in the mountains and taken to a private room in back. It was a covered balcony looking out over El Salvador far below. My paranoid mind took in the fact that there was no way to approach the back of the building where we were without coming through the doorway, flanked by our policemen...and we were not at all visible from the street. The balcony jutted out over a steep drop, that could not be traversed on foot without great difficulty...a fairly secure, easy to contain set up. Paranoia! Then, I thought, "Yeah...and we didn't go to our "usual" marketplace this morning, either...instead we were taken to a much smaller, more isolated, safer area. Paranoia! When I asked why we didn't go to our "usual" papoosa joint, it was pointed out to me that our "usual" place was in Il Sulitan, not San Salvador and would have been a much further drive. That makes total sense! Last time, we stayed some of our nights in Il Sulitan...so, of course we would have gone to a different papoosa restaurant.

We leave at 6:30am tomorrow for the church in the inner city portion of San Salvador. I am suspecting we will see more people there than anywhere else while we are here. That church has it's own security force in addition to the San Salvador police unit that will be accompanying us. When we were there for church service Sunday evening, I had noticed two men with ear pieces standing on either side of the front of the church continually scanning the large crowd...and stepping up onto stage each time we bowed our heads to pray. It finally dawned on me they were security guards. I asked one of our translators about it later and he said that this church has it's own security force and that the pastor is guarded to keep him from being kidnapped and held for ransom. This is a very large, very well organized church. They have a HUGE outreach to the inner city in San Salvador. I expect we will see our largest crowds so far. We have never had clinic at this particular church before. Tomorrow will be a completely new experience...not a familiar one as Monday and Tuesday were for me.

My apprehension is past...it was fleeting enough. But, it surprised me that I had it at all...I don't tend to be a worrier. (I am quick to figure "worst-case scenario", but, then, having come to an awful conclusion, I do not actually feal fear or dread over it...to me, a worrier is someone who experiences fear and dread over what might be...but, easily envisioning "worst case scenario" with serene detachment is just being imaginative, not being a worrier!

The frustration of writing this blog is that there is SO MUCH I want to write, but honestly do not have time to write but a smattering of what is wanting to boil over through my fingers upon the keyboard.

I wanted last night, to be able to share the things I heard as we all met together and various members of our team shared what they had seen God do, thus far. I am going to write that...but, there is not time enough yet.

Tonight, the most pressing thing on my heart is the realization that God is in control. We can never be out of His loving hands...particularly not when our hearts are yielded to Him and we are obeying. Do I feel guilty for having brought Darcy along? No. Emphatically, no. She has been an enormous help and I see how this mission trip has impacted her mightily. We cannot live our life in fear of the "maybe's". To do so would be a poor life, indeed. This has been such a joyous trip for every member of our team. And God IS using us...life does not get any better than that! And, He sure gave us a wonderful break today as we had this one free day to go to the market and to the beach...the weather could not have been more perfect. And what a joy that we have five policemen literally living with us this week. Our translators interact with them often and there is always three or four of them sitting interspersed with these policemen during their meals with us. I know our translators well enough to know they are taking advantage of the opportunity to befriend these fellows and share Jesus with them.


Darcy goes to the marketplace and what does she buy? A MACHETE, of course!





"El Salvadorian Police just enjoying a day at the beach!" (with us!)

(It is a bit disappointing that the Police have such small rifles...only about half as long as the automatic machine guns (M-16's) that the soldiers carry. But, the Police are a lot friendlier than the soldiers ever were!)